Color Paint Glaze

Where Does Art Reside ?

Art Quote for the Day

4 Comments

To all of you Artists out there….. I want to share something sad with you and I would love to hear your thoughts.

Like many of you , I keep a sketchbook. I have a page devoted to it on this blog. I have 160 full books, I’m never without one . I wake up in the morning and draw in it and before I go to sleep at night I will lay in bed and draw in it. It’s my security blanket, it’s my rock , IT’S ME!

3 days ago I lost it. I lost my sketchbook! I had it and then I didn’t. I have never lost a sketchbook.. Once I misplaced one at a phone booth in a mall but as soon as I realized it I went back and thankfully it was still there. This is a first.I had it with me at the grocery store , must have left it in the grocery cart and didn’t notice I didn’t have it until I was going to go to bed and started looking for it No where to be found! I went back to the store to ask at the lost and found. Nothing. I came home. My husband went back to the store with me and crawled among the shopping carts both inside and out . Nothing. ( this is at 11:00 pm mind you)  we came home , sat down and my husband proceeded to help me change all of my passwords that I had written in the back of this book , which, ironically I had spent the afternoon transferring from the now lost book into a new one because the lost one was just 4 pages away from being full. thank god I did that or I’d be totally screwed right now.

Once passwords were  changed I could go to bed, midnight now….. where it all hit me . this is where I’d like to hear from you all. The loss, the emptiness, the sadness imagining all the drawings I had done now gone….. I cried and cried and cried  till I felt sick.

Interestingly , this experience has been a great observation of people . My husband and my sister had first thoughts about the passwords being lost. I , of course, didn’t even think about the passwords… I was thinking of the drawings.

One friend who just recently lost her mother said I have to go through the stages of grief. Another friend commented on the fact that if someone has it who can see and know what this book is to someone they would never keep it . If they found it and saw all the passwords, tried them and then found none of them worked would they just toss it in the trash? Part of my heart and soul just tossed in the trash? Is it laying, in a pile of snow or a puddle somewhere ?

I’ve never had a pet and lost it. I don’t have any children. I haven’t had  any “tragedies” happen to me but this event certainly feels like it’s right up there. Such a loss. Can any of you artists out there identify?  There’s just something about the creative act that really is part of our very SELVES , intangible, selfish maybe, but without it we would all truly be lost.

I’ll get over this …. probably already almost there. I know that everytime I go to that grocery store I’ll ask at the lost and found. I know it will take me a little while to start a new sketchbook because there was no “closure” with the old one.  As an artist , may I speak for us all? We ARE a little bit nuts aren’t we? thanks for letting me vent.

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Author: jfasse

I AM AN ARTISTAND A PROFESSOR OF ART AT EDGEWOOD COLLEGE IN MADISON WI.I RECEIVED MY MFA FROM THE UNIV. OF WI IN 1994 AND HAVE BEEN TEACHING EVER SINCE. I CONDUCT CLASSES IN MY HOME; FIGURE DRAWING, ALTERED BOOKS WORKSHOPS AND WANT TO CONTINUE TO EXPAND ON THIS ACTIVITY AND THAT IS WHY I'M STARTING A BLOG.....TO GET INFO OUT THERE AND CONNECT WITH POSSIBLE ON LINE CLASS STUDENTS AND FOLLOWERS

4 thoughts on “Art Quote for the Day

  1. Jane, What a horrible experience. I know this because I know you, and even had the honor of taking your sketchbook course wa-a-ay back in… wow, I think it was in 1997 or 1998. I’ve always admired your ability to 1. work every day in your book and 2. fill all the pages. Despite my lack in both regards, I know it is entirely possible to flip through a few pages looking for something in a book, and to say to myself, “nope, not this one, the next book,” or to know where in the 120+ pages a certain drawing is, that I need to see and be reminded of. I also write a lot of diary-type soul-searching stuff in my sketchbooks (as I look through them it is always remarkable how much the words sound the same, but the pictures are different, year after year). So yes, I can relate, and yes, I’m sorry this happened. So now I suppose you will have a chunk of empty in your memory banks. I hope you’ll remember what you need to and draw it in the next one. After all, it’s all there… the books are the physical record, far more replaceable than you are.

    • thanks Mary…. can you believe how fast the last , uh, 14 or so years have gone by since you and your Mom took my sketchbook class? Good times. thanks for your thoughts on this. you describe it perfectly. it IS like having a chunk of my memory bank taken away and made blank. I can look at almost any little sketch in the scads of sketchbooks I have and remember when I did it , what was going on at the time…. and now , a big ol’ chunk is gone. I’m hoping for lots of people’s stories about their own sketchbooks when this blog gets read. It will help me get over it and also confirm that I do indeed live in a beautiful artful world filled with sensitive and caring people.

  2. Dearest Jane,
    Although I’ve experienced losses, I’ve never had this happen. One way I processed your event is through understanding how hard it is to throw any of my scraps away, no matter how successful (or unsuccessful?) What I realize when I look at these old scraps, not in a full journal like yours, is that each piece is almost an instant recall of a moment in time, probably mostly when demonstrating to my young students, or working out a simple idea toward an example or result. That helps me to relate to what has happened to you.

    My scraps are my nest, my friends, my illumination into the idea that I am, truly, an artist. People around me only know this in varying degrees. Someone who finds/found your sketchbook will know what a gem they have!
    Fondly,
    Claudia

    • Thanks Claudia, You are like the fifth person to say that whoever has it knows how special it is. That would be the best scenario I suppose. But if this somebody knows how special it is , how can they keep it and not turn it in to the lost and found at Woodmans, which is where i lost it? I thought that by posting this sad tale that people would reply with thoughts , as you have, about their precious “pieces” …. I think this would set up an interesting “group chat” we can all identify , as you have,… I’d love to read more stuff like you wrote. thanks again,. I wish we could get together some day. Jane

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